Internet Party | iyrie!
There are somethings that just don’t get the credit they deserve. Here we try and put that right in some small way. Please feel free to suggest your most underrated things and we can include them in the next ‘underrated’ post.
When I was younger, fear of beetroot used to haunt the tea table on Boxing Day when Uncle George and Auntie Larry came round. The peril was that in transferring a piece of beetroot from the bowl on the table to your plate, the beetroot would drop mid way and cause a pink stain on the crisp white table cloth for ever. However, in the ensuing years I’ve managed to get over my phobia (I realised that the passive aggressive tablecloth was equally culpable in this tableau, and could easily live without them) and have grown to love the beetroot and it’s crazy delicious purpleness (see ‘Purple’ below).
Now I know I go on about this a lot (and even wear the t-shirt), but despite just how obviously brilliant they are, circles are still being taken for granted. They are easily as good as squares, but without those annoying sides. And they are much better than triangles, with their awkward pointy bits. A triangle is really just a circle with points on. Why complicate things? Spare a moment to have a little think about this, the most aesthetically appealing of all the geometrical shapes, their uniqueness and just how lucky we are to have them around. Well done, circles.
In fact, circles are so out of this world, I even did a mix about them.
This is an easy one. There is no pastime quite like pedaloing. The one single point of pedaloing is to pedalo. You’re not going anywhere, the pleasure is simply in the journey. Which isn’t even a journey, rather a contrivance of meandering circles at varying speeds round a little bit of water. It doesn’t require any basic skills or level of fitness to enjoy it at the highest level. One thing is for sure, if you get back from holiday and you haven’t had a go on a pedalo, you haven’t had a proper holiday. Go back and do it again.
4. Mystery Comics
I bought a load of old mystery comics off the internet. Tales of the weird and supernatural and visions of the future from the past. So I get on the tube at Barbican and as I sit down I get one of the comics (above) out and start reading. I’m just getting into ‘The Haunted Dolls House’ when I’m aware that I’m being watched. The bloke sat opposite me is staring at what I am doing with his mouth agape. He is confounded by the sight of a grown man reading a comic. His look of bewilderment says “What on earth are you doing?”. Eventually he breaks out of his reverie and shakes his head and goes back to his i-Phone. Probably to tweet about it, the idiot.
When I was a kid I didn’t like purple at all. It was a girls colour. In my twenties, I considered it the preserve of older ladies with wild hair who wore kaftans, smelled of patchouli oil and had too many cats, or merely a functional denoter of the flavour blackcurrant. However, since I saw a purple Lada, the veil has been lifted from my eyes. I love it now, it’s my favourite colour. Incidentally – in case you were wondering – yes, this epiphany did take place about the same time as I discovered my taste for beetroot.
Oh do come on, no giggling at the back. I mean, of course, the button variety. In a world where everything is touch screen this and touch sensitive that, I crave the return to good old fashioned knobs, switches and buttons. So much more reliable, you simply press them, flick them or turn them and they make things go on or off or up and down. What could be simpler? They don’t try and correct your spelling and even if you’ve got fingers like sausages they don’t discriminate against you. I suggest we stick with them and skip the touch sensitive stage then go straight to the Clint Eastwood Firefox neuralink technology where everything is controlled by the power of the mind once that’s perfected.